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The Animal Who Died Out Because It’s Dick Was Too Big

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‘Colymbosathon ecplecticos’, also known as “astounding swimmer with a large penis” is an ancient crustacean who became extinct not because of any natural disaster or disease, but because it’s dick was too big (and you thought catching something because your dick is so big it touches toilet water when you sit down was a problem). And yes, it definetely did not consume generic viagra 100mg
The well-endowed crustacean also happens to boast the oldest penis ever found — 425 million years. “The entire creature is just a fifth of an inch long, but for its size, its penis is still ‘large and stout,’ according to its discoverers,” reports The Atlantic.
 
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According to Gene Hunt, a paleobiologist at the Smithsonian’s National Museum of Natural History who led the study on ostracods (the class of crustaceans that swimmer-with-big-dick stems from), scientists wanted to better understand the role of size and how it affects survivability. Turns out: Having a big dick means you’re more likely to go extinct. “We showed that when males are larger and more elongated than the females, those species tend to not last as long in the fossil record,” explained Hunt in a statement, as reported by Inverse. “They have a higher risk of extinction.”

 
As to why, well, that’s something a sex addict can probably relate to. As per the study, while having a bigger dick meant the species could create more sperm, it also led to a level of devotion to baby-making that was so zealous, there was no time for anything else. “If devoting so much energy to reproduction made it harder for species in the past to adapt to changing circumstances, perhaps that same should apply to species we’re concerned about conserving in the present day,” said Hunt in her statement.
 

 


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